Hi there- just stumbled across your profile, and it stopped me in my tracks….awesome profile, and your pics are makin it hard for me to concentrate:)…I wish my secretary looked like you.

From: *******
Subject: RE:digital connection
Sent Date: 10/23/2009 7:04:31 PM

You seem interesting but you look eerily similar to my ex-boyfriend. Would you be willing to change your appearance if we were to date?

From: ********
Subject: RE:RE:digital connection
Sent Date: 10/23/2009 8:05:00 AM

haa…no worries my appearance is always changing. if we were dating and a certain look was too eerie, then yeah, i’d switch it up. though maybe eventually, you’d see i was so unlike your ex that even when i looked like him it wouldnt make u think of him.

which pic does he resemble? where are u from originally?

From: *******
Subject: RE:RE:RE:digital connection
Sent Date: 10/23/2009 8:14:40 PM

Seattle.

From: ********
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:digital connection
Sent Date: 10/23/2009 11:52:51 PM

how long u been in sf? actually i have lots of questions i want to ask you…

…maybe it would be easier if we met up for a drink…

interested?

From: ********
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:digital connection
Sent Date: 10/24/2009 3:10:20 AM

oh no…where did you go? Did I request to meet up too soon? Do you still feel I look too much like your ex?

you cant go by pictures…theyre only 2 dimensions

I don’t know..for some reason when I read your profile, I get a sense of comfort and connection…its hard to explain…It be cool to keep talking to see where it goes.

If I’m annoying you at this point just say so and I’ll go away.

From: ********
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:digital connection
Sent Date: 10/24/2009 6:09:49 PM

Truthfully, yes… your resemblance to my ex is quite bothersome. I’ve had more then a few sleepless nights struggling over whether we should date or not. The good news is, I think I’ve come up with a solution.

If you can shave your head, your beard, lose 60 pounds in the next 60 days, tan regularly (4-6 times a week), and speak with a Indian accent… I think that will completely remove any thought of my ex… and I can start this relationship fresh… with a clean mental slate.

From: ********
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:digital connection
Sent Date: 10/24/2009 11:10:20 PM

wow that’s asking a lot, i can shave and tan but i think i would sound pretty silly with a Indian accent, and there is now I can lose that much weight that fast.

From: *******
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:digital connection
Sent Date: 10/25/2009 8:30:40 AM

Oooo… that’s gonna make it tough… I really need all 5 things to make this work.

Losing 60 pounds in 60 days can sound intimidating… I know. I used to have an extra 150 pounds on this frame… until 2 years ago… on a trip to Tanzania… I meet a very sweet street vendor named Henry, who sold me tapeworms. Since then… my life has never been the same. I lost 150 pounds in 3 months.

Although I’ll admit, there is 1 drawback… getting them out can be a little tricky. First, you’ll need to enlist the help of a close friend or family member. Second, you’ll need some fresh milk and cookies, and a hammer. Next, you’ll need to put the cookies and milk next to your bare hind end for 1 hour (give or take a few minutes). Your helper will need to keep a close eye on your bare end during this time with a hammer in hand for when the tapeworm emerges. Once the tapeworm makes a move for the milk and cookies… it’s imperative your helper smash it to death!

I have 1 tapeworm left that I’d be more then happy to give to you when we go out… speaking of which, when are we going out? I’m not very picky… I’m sure any bar or restaurant you choose will be fine :)

From: ********
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:digital connection
Sent Date: 10/25/2009 3:27:36 PM

no offense but that sounds a bit crazy. i’m glad it worked for you but I don’t think it’s right for me.

how about dinner next saturday?

From: *******
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:digital connection
Sent Date: 10/25/2009 7:14:25 PM

No tapeworm no date.

From: ********
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:digital connection
Sent Date: 10/25/2009 8:02:20 PM

i think I’m been very accommodating to your other requests and that if went out you would see I’m nothing like your ex.

i hope you would reconsider, here is my phone number, xxx-xxx-xxxx

From: *******
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:digital connection
Sent Date: 10/25/2009 8:14:40 PM

Ok, I’ve reconsidered, let’s go out… but before we do it’s a must you shave your head and beard… and while your at it… your chest, legs, armpits… and man yard.

From: ********
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:digital connection
Sent Date: 10/25/2009 8:02:20 PM

i’ll shave tonight :)

how does dinner saturday sound?

From: ********
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:digital connection
Sent Date: 10/28/2009 5:34:12 PM

haven’t heard from you in a few days, are we on for saturday? give me a call xxx-xxx-xxxx

From: *******
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:digital connection
Sent Date: 10/28/2009 8:45:36 PM

Hi… sorry, it’s been a busy this week, have you shaved yet?

From: ********
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:digital connection
Sent Date: 10/28/2009 9:10:56 PM

yup shaved clean :)

From: *******
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:digital connection
Sent Date: 10/28/2009 10:19:38 PM

Oh geez… I’m really sorry but my ex and I worked things out last night. He apologized for cheating on me, stealing from me, lying about the disease he gave me and the number of kids he has, so I decided to give him a second chance. Best of luck!

hey there darlin I’m Peter, you sound really fun and down to earth… want to chat at all?

From: *******
Subject: RE:hi
Sent Date: 10/24/2009 12:27:09 PM

Let’s just cut to the chase… why don’t you come over tonight and we can get to know each other.

From: ********
Subject: RE:RE:hi
Sent Date: 10/24/2009 1:01:09 PM

sounds good to me! where do you live?

From: *******
Subject: RE:RE:RE:hi
Sent Date: 10/24/2009 1:12:34 PM

xxxx xxxxxxxx xxxx Los Angeles, CA xxxxx. Room 512

From: ********
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:hi
Sent Date: 10/24/2009 1:25:27 PM

room? is it an apartment?

From: *******
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:hi
Sent Date: 10/24/2009 1:32:14 PM

No, it’s a hospital.

From: ********
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:hi
Sent Date: 10/24/2009 1:34:52 PM

lol you want me to come see in the hospital?

From: *******
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:hi
Sent Date: 10/24/2009 1:40:56 PM

Yup. It’s top rated. They give excellent care.

From: ********
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:hi
Sent Date: 10/24/2009 1:41:12 PM

you seriously want me to come meet you in a hospital? why are you in the hospital?

From: *******
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:hi
Sent Date: 10/24/2009 1:42:36 PM

YES… how many times do I have to say it.

From: ********
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:hi
Sent Date: 10/24/2009 1:49:57 PM

ok I guess. what time?

From: *******
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:hi
Sent Date: 10/24/2009 1:59:36 PM

The nurse gives me my last round of meds around 6… so anytime after that works fine. But before you come by, could you do me a favor… I need someone to feed my cat. I’ve been in the hospital for nearly a week and only left enough food out to last 3 days. It will be quick and easy, my apartment is 5 mins from the hospital and there is a spare key under the welcome mat. Just find your way into the kitchen and on the counter you’ll see a notebook titled “Raymond’s Recipes”. Anything out of there will be fine… but FYI… I’d recommend making the barbecued halibut with chile watermelon salsa, it’s his favorite.

From: ********
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:hi
Sent Date: 10/24/2009 2:05:23 PM

I don’t think I can do that.

From: *******
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:hi
Sent Date: 10/24/2009 2:07:42 PM

Oh come on. If you’re worried about having to buy ingredients, don’t… everything you need is there.

From: ********
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:hi
Sent Date: 10/24/2009 2:12:56 PM

I don’t even know you and you want me to go to your house and make some gourmet meal for your cat. It’s a little weird.

From: *******
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:hi
Sent Date: 10/24/2009 2:13:14 PM

Please.

From: ********
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:hi
Sent Date: 10/24/2009 2:22:32 PM

can’t you get someone else. why don’t you call me when you get out of the hospital, xxx-xxx-xxxx

From: *******
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:hi
Sent Date: 10/24/2009 2:34:37 PM

Please.

From: ********
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:hi
Sent Date: 10/24/2009 2:57:50 PM

I can’t. I can come visit you but I don’t feel comfortable feeding your cat.

From: ********
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:hi
Sent Date: 10/24/2009 2:58:02 PM

why are you in the hospital?

From: *******
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:hi
Sent Date: 10/24/2009 3:04:37 PM

I got into a little fight with my now ex-husband over who should get the cat. One thing lead to the other and next thing you know… I’m in the hospital with a broken collar bone, fractured wrist, 2 broken ribs, broken leg, broken knee cap, lost a toe, two fractured fingers, and a blown out eardrum.

From: ********
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:hi
Sent Date: 10/24/2009 3:09:01 PM

wow, that’s intense. Sorry to hear that.

From: *******
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:hi
Sent Date: 10/24/2009 3:27:49 PM

Ah… don’t feel to bad. I’ll heal… he’s the one with a bullet in his chest. I’d like to see him take the cat now LOL.

From: *******
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:hi
Sent Date: 10/24/2009 3:29:34 PM

Ok, let’s just let the cat be for another night… but if he dies, so help you God Peter, if he dies… that cats blood will be on your shoulders… and mark my words… there will be justice… what is made wrong, will be made right…. and if it’s the last thing I do… I will avenge Raymond’s death.

Now what time should I expect to see you tonight Peter?

From: *******
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:hi
Sent Date: 10/24/2009 3:54:09 PM

Peter?

How was your day? My name is Reggie just moved down to train for the upcoming olympics.

From: *******
Subject: RE:Hey.
Sent Date: 10/15/2009 9:27:09 PM

The Olympics wow! What a coincidence… I’m training for the Olympics too… well not the Olympics Olympics… the Special Olympics.

What’s your event?

From: ********
Subject: RE:RE:Hey.
Sent Date: 10/15/2009 11:44:33 PM

That’s great to hear. I’ve ran the 400m and 800m but will be running the 800m. How about you?

From: *******
Subject: RE:RE:RE:Hey.
Sent Date: 10/17/2009 11:24:19 AM

15 meter walk and tennis ball toss.

I’m feeling pretty good about the 15 meter walk…. it’s the tennis ball toss that’s got me concerned… apparently there is some Chinese prodigy who can throw a tennis ball the length of a football field. I haven’t seen video to confirm this… but with all the talk in the Special Olympics community… I have to assume it’s true.

From: ********
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:Hey.
Sent Date: 10/17/2009 12:20:23 AM

Be confident and train hard. You’ll do fine. How was your week?

From: *******
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:Hey.
Sent Date: 10/17/2009 1:04:39 PM

I’ve had better… Thursday I got notice that I’m under investigation for steroid use.

From: ********
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:Hey.
Sent Date: 10/17/2009 2:40:53 PM

I am sorry to hear that. I have been through it a lot so don’t worry about it you will be fine. Take care of yourself and make sure you keep drinking a lot of fluids. If they keep bothering about steroids tell them you are clean.

From: *******
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:Hey.
Sent Date: 10/17/2009 3:25:07 PM

I wish it was that easy… but I’m not clean. I’ve been using for the last 6 months. It’s that Chinese girl… ever since I heard about her, I’ve been shooting up everyday… sometimes twice a day.

I’ve got to say… I’m not too concerned. I’ve been taking the best stuff on the market. Barry Bonds trainer told me there’s a 99.9% chance they won’t be able to find anything…. and worst case scenerio… if they do find something… my lawyer said that if I get a character witness… someone who will testiy under oath, that the steroids are for my disability and not to enhance performance… that they would let me compete. I know it’s early in our relationship… but will you testify in federal court that I’m not taking steroids for a competitive edge?

PS- Of course I don’t expect you to do this for nothing… I’m willing to split all my endorsement money with you 50/50.

From: ********
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:Hey.
Sent Date: 10/17/2009 3:40:23 PM

That’s asking a lot. I don’t even know you. I don’t even know what your disability is. This is a little too much for me.

From: ********
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:Hey.
Sent Date: 10/17/2009 3:42:39 PM

Well let’s take care of your concerns… let’s get together for dinner so we can start getting to know each other better…. and regarding my disability… I have an overbite.

Does dinner tomorrow night sound good?

From: ********
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:Hey.
Sent Date: 10/17/2009 4:23:45 PM

Sure. Call me and we can figure out the details. xxx-xxx-xxxx

From: ********
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:Hey.
Sent Date: 10/17/2009 4:29:18 PM

I give up.

From: ********
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:Hey.
Sent Date: 10/17/2009 4:34:15 PM

Give up, what do you mean.